I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
the room spins SO much faster in panama
We had to leave the bar because you were trying to show the bartender your boobs for water.
knew i was gonna lose at a shoe or be bleeding at some point. and both happened within 20 mins.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
I don't know how Dave is alive, I feel like he's been drinking since I met him.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
She helped me out of the car and i face planted into the snow.....and just stayed there and took like a 30 min nap.
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
I wear drunk well.
Last night this creepy guy asked me my name and I told him it was Jaundice and he called me that all night
I cant promise hot guys but i can promise alcohol which is close enough.
Randomize
