brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
she's not even a shacker, she never made it inside. she's just a porch girl
I just made out with a girl with a life jacket on wtf is going on
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
All I remember is waking up with 3 penises pointed at my face. I also remember enjoying that a lot. And then I threw up in their shower.
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I was out of weed and my vibrator broke, so I'm now at Red Lobster.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
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