I always feel awkward when im sitting at home watching the price is right and the fat contestant get the gym equipment.
puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
So i banged this chick from Peru last night. Needless to say, I'm having chipotle for lunch todayas a south American reward to honor her.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
did i walk over a car last night?
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
i also performed surgery on a chicken burrito from what i can tell from my scissors
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
Dude if it is ever said "everybody get inside the police helicopter just showed up.". That means it was a successful party.
You're the horniest male I have ever encountered
Makes it sound like you're a scientist documenting your discoveries. I warned you.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
Someone's gotta tell him drunk sex comes before dating
Randomize
