im walking the streets of bville with a bag of cat food..looking for my car. i dont ever want to turn 21 again.
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
What's the kids name that was drinking stale beer and redbull out of the blender?
I mean its not the first time I passed out drunk at barnes and noble.
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Just so were clear I meant the head your face is on
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
I walked out ot my car in the morning thinking there was a sandwich I left there from yesterday. Then later that day I was checking the mail and saw the other side of my car :/
It concerns me the most that u were potentially going to eat a day old car sandwich.
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
The guy in the room next to me just offered to hide the next dose of morphine he will get for his broken leg under his tongue and then swap it with me in exchange for a roll of the good toilet paper my parent brought for me last they visited. The psych ward is a lot more hardcore than I thought.
You know you're high when you find yourself sitting on the floor with the refrigerator door open, talking to various foods. Hand gestures and all.
You're an adult now and it's your vagina. You should do what it or you wants.
Randomize
