I'm so never shaving my vag in a target bathroom for him again.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
I'm wearing this super skanky ass dress that's wayyy to slutty for church but I think Jesus will appreciate it because i look so bangin for his bday.
I was eating her out when she coughed, I just swallowed a bright red blood clot
Calling yourself a modern day Geisha doesn't justify being a whore.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
how sketchy is it to eat a candy wrapped in masking tape from reggae night? because we totally just split it...
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I'm trying. I feel like we're trying to have sex with fruitcake. dry and boring.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
You and your dick were a topic of high regard tonight
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Randomize