he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
no you're not allowed back
come on. everbeers was a great idea. you fucks had a great night
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
He woke me up at 5am to recite nursery rhymes to our fictitious unborn child.
Hopefully my orange shoes will distract people's attention from my crippling awkwardness
i was really hopeful that i could make it to the end of the semester without doing something stupid enough to destroy our relationship but i guess i was wrong..........thanks vodka
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Go shave, and then go fuck the man
YOU ARE SO CRUDE, I LOVE YOU
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
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