so he came in my eye... should i throw out my contacts?
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
There's a big hole in the wall at the dining hall. I hope we didn't do
Totally just sport flirted the shit out of a girl on a wheelchair. I've done my good deed for the day.
At what point would you like us to save you from yourself?
We will. we just need a little inspiration.... in smoke form.
If that's all it takes to cure your hangovers then you need to drink more.
If you can't have hot, loud sex in a dorm for the last time ever, what can you do in this world?
Do I have to cook for the potluck? Can I just bring a costco size bottle of Vodka?
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I have post one night stand depression
Randomize
