So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
he sent me a naked picture of himself. things got awkward really quickly. but on a positive note he shaved his chest
I just typed my entire senior project presentation on my blackberry,
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
P.S, i don't recommend doing keg stands on top of vehicles.
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The last thing I want is a chocolate mold of my cock competing with my real cock for time spent in your mouth
Fortunately for myself I'm twice as smart and half as drunk as everyone else. All things considered I'm leaving here three-to-five times richer than when I arrived.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
I dunno if you guys are having weird sex or a most accurate bird sound contest but either way stop doin it
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
Step 1: chug a red bull vodka with no ice Step 2: chase that with a shot of wild turkey Step 3: chase that with a shot of tequila
Step 4: your drunk
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
Randomize
