K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
handjob tips. give me some.
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
just upper decked a verizon store cause they don't cover against "getting phone crushed by a keg." had to pay 175 for a new one
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
It might have taken me 30 minutes but I finally finished the toast I made. That hungover.
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
I banged a guy named Robbie last night and in the middle of sex he begged me to scream santos. I'm pretty sure I just screwed a dude with multiple personalities.
He came so fast i dont think he got it all the way in. He apologized and gave me his favorite baseball card.
Today's forecast: 90% chance of bad decisions, good stories, solid new dick and artichoke pizza
Straight up last night my mom was like josh you need to find a job that doesn't include the selling or transporting of drugs
Riddle me this: why did I wake up next to a stuffed sword fish?
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
