I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
oh God, I have a dick of a middle schooler
The girl I was getting head from just called my dick an anteater...I hate my parents for not cutting my cock tip off.
I'm at a party watching some dude try to eat a whole package of Oreos in 5 minutes.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
We convinced him to snort an altoid. We should not be allowed to drink together
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
He came on my face. Threw a towel at me. Stole my weed. And left. I thought this would be over after we graduated?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
Waiting to interview and found a beer in my purse from last night
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I walked in on him fucking my best friend. I think we've reached the point of following each other on twitter.
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
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