I just lost $50 at the races, got drunk, and woke up to my ex-gf. Apparently the good decisions kept on rolling...
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
Kinda felt bad though cuz she whimpered and shuttered a lot, i felt like i was kicking a puppy, only the puppy liked it and came a bunch
where's my purse there's an important taco in it
the sad thing is, im pretty sure she was serious about giving me head for my falafel
The Swedes wanted a tensome.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I just spent 30 minutes cleaning out my coleman grill. Did you really have to have grilled yogurt?
Will you please bring me a line of coke at work without asking questions?
you puked in the bathtub and said "let them pee"
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
So worth it. Come over for bacon egg cheese vusquit later. 12. I slept with Jimmy? On my period? And told him he had mother issues? No tequila. Tequila bad.
Well I've made a drinking game out of the Wiggles but I think I've got this babysitting thing down
I've never had sex that lasts this long though. It's ridiculous. I feel like I need a Gatorade and a sweatband and a sub.
i haven't seen you in two years and we have like 16 hours, all i want is cuddles, wine, and some light groping
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