ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
I got so many pubes stuck in her braces that when she yanked her head, I cried out like that one girl you "accidentally" rear-ended last week. Bald spots are battle scars.
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
I bet the guy on the treadmill next to me with the noise-canceling headphones wishes he could trade them for smell-canceling noseplugs. Hard to believe that last one did not involve any pants-shitting on my part.
I'm back in the dating scene now... Since the legality issue calmed down. And my stalking charges were dropped.
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
When we were texting for those few weeks, I some how established a crush on you. And its weird and wild and stupid and silly. But these things just have to be said sometimes to determine what's real and what is infatuation. And to suffer the consequences of five am drunk philosophy. No regrets.
Hillary said in her victory speech "We're gonna come together". I've got a lib-boner.
I just wanna be euthanized
Thas it
Well you got kicked off a stripper pole. They said girls only.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize