Check if I'm alive tomorrow. If not, tell my parents I died happy and that there's a gay cheerleader in the spare bedroom
So am i just your go-to 'i found a tick on my penis' number?
Oh the joys of strong arming a man into exclusivity
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
he said that he wanted to outsmoke the rain, I don't know what that means but I'm gonna go help him
Will you be topless? That will affect my answer.
This exeeds the amount of high I planned on being.
he told me not to treat him like a child and then started peeing off the trampoline
When you get to his house tomorrow, follow your instincts. Find the cat first.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
So learned a new trick last night.... Taking body shots from my own tits... Mom would be so proud
My apartment stinks of burning failure
Randomize
