Who knew there were guys that wanted to only stalk you instead of date you? Count on me to find them!
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
so, is "hi, did i take your virginity six years ago and never call afterwards?" an appropriate greeting in a bar?
just overheard a conversation that ended in "and that's what I learned in France" How could that not have been about sex
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
Yeah yeah, I don't care. I bought a super soaker, so lets please go attracting attention by spraying each other while wearing white tank tops?
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Vodka, rum, moonshine, I don't care, just bring like 5gallons.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
Did I wash my face last night at your house? Where did my eyebrows go??
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
Randomize
