so high driving around just saw a woman in a pink shirt chillin riding a horse
so high at work that a 35 year old with his kids handed me visine and winked at me. you win with the horse though
Do you reaalllllly want to put "porn editor" on your resume?
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
She just did a bodyshot off herself. I don't care that it's only seven thirty, come pick her up.
Someone just took a shot from my crotch. I should not have to drive home
I was just informed that I have the perfect belly button for body shots... Best compliment ever.
I found out he put two potatoes in a jar because he wants to make his own vodka.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
I have 80 very blurry photos of you on a stripper pole...
In Texas. Drank way too much wine. Puked in a gallon zip lock bag. Passed out at 445 with the ENTIRE family here. Got up at 745 in time for dinner. I made you proud!!!
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
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