I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
In the liquor store when a straight girl and a gay guy were just arguing about who hooked up with the same guy first.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Stories. There's stories.
MEGHAN YOU'VE BEEN THERE FOR 20 MINUTES
got cock blocked by the cops again. two of the cops were the same ones from that t bell incident and they recognized me... they still dont like me
woke up to two girls crawling on top of me forcefeeding me bacon. Best. Hangover. Ever.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
