the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
I wish I had a dollar for every time I've slept off a late night I dont want to remember in my recliner.
He said we were driving the golf cart through the woods screaming 'iceroad truckers' for four hours in the dark
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
Best. Four. Twenty. Ever.
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
Professor just informed us that she can't come to class today because her daughter broke her glasses and she can not see where she is going. Am I still drunk from this weekend?
You were great dude. You wanted to charge the guy with fedora $100 to get in.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Mashed potatoes are always the fuckin answer ok.
You know that if they offer you a bagel they are determined to sleep with you, right?
Im so drunk and the cops showed up so i ran on all 4's through the woods because i had no shoes hoping they would mistake me for a fox
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
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