The pirates hijacked 3 more ships today!!
we need a boat to join in
Obama is on top of it we'd get killed within mins, but we'd live in legend foreva
you would have Pina Colada flavored saliva.
i just threw up repeatedly on the entire entire walk down A1A to the pizza place....then on the way back slipped and fell in it
You discussed the Arab/Israeli conflict with the guy behind the counter at the Kebab shop telling him you supported his people. He was clearly Asian.
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
Is it bad when your hot neighbor is crying on her porch, and your 2nd thought is "maybe her boyfriend cheated on her and she'll want to fuck me for revenge sex?"
Perfectly normal.
She pulled out a handful of chest hair. And then gave the room a Brave Heartesque speech.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
WHY ARE YOU SMOKING WEED WHEN YOU JUST HAD A STROKE. AND MORE IMPORTANTLY WHY ARE YOU DOING IT WITHOUT ME.
Plus, it's just valuable. Virgin pee is very well-priced.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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