there are so many fish in the see you have left to fuck
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
He drunk dialed T-Mobile at 3am and talked to them for 45 minutes and got his phone bill lowered from $80 to $60... Best drunk dial ever.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
He makes this seasoned whore feel like a novice. I've met the one.
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
May or may not have been going down the road shooting fireworks.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
A blind guy just told me that even he could see i was gay and encouraged me to chat up the girl behind that counter bc he thinks we'd make a cute couple. Are all Canadians this helpful?!
is buying liquor on my lunch break too aggressive?
I DID NOT GO INTO HOURS OF STRENUOUS LABOR FOR YOU TO LOOK LIKE A DOMINATRIX BARMAID ON A WEEKDAY. AT LEAST SAVE IT FOR THE WEEKEND GDI.
You've changed since you got that strap on
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
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