so i told him i have my period and he put his head by my vagina and said "I HATE YOU!"
I sat in the mc D drive thru and refused to move till the chick gave me her number
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
well it can jab him in the chin so I am 100% sure he can suck his own dick
I don't know whether to laugh it off or be pissed at him..I got pulled over this morning leaving his place and the officer thought my hickeys were hand prints around my neck and asked if I needed to be escorted out of town.
You said this was your mistake shot and then vomited on the tv. Never forget.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
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