1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
looking back, maybe 11 flaming dr peppers was a little extreme
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
So do you remember the bartender that caught me when I fell off the bar 4 weeks ago? He hasn't been to work since...Woops.
McDonald's and a car nap. I feel kinda human
HE WAS SUPPOSED TO BE THE TROPHY HUSBAND! I WAS GOING TO BE THE SUCCESSFUL ONE!
I'm perplexed as to why anyone on this planet is straight
Why is there a mildly painful bruise on my back?
You slipped off the sink last night.
Why was I on the sink......?
;)
PANTIES FOUND
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