What can i say, inner beauty is great but it makes a hard picture to jack off to
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
I love our relationship. We just get drunk, show each other our tits, demonstrate sexual positions and make pasta. Then you go to bed and I sit around with your mom and cry about how proud of you we are.
Dude. I've never been with a guy who just wanted to go down on me all the time including while I'm shooting zombies on call of duty. My life is complete.
I was so ripped I had a natty light box over my head carrying a spray bottle out in the streets trying to give car washes.
my roommates are pretty pissed at me. they sent me out for ice and i came back with a kitten.
Also I know now I was meant to be a comedian. Had both arresting officers laughing.
I think I am just gonna marry that lesbian. She is more of a respectful gentleman than any of the guys I've slept with.
Crop dusting thru forever 21
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