did you make any bad decisions?
many, i pretty much fell in love with a freshman...it doesn't get much better than that
You put a thong on my pumpkin didn't you.
I feel like this whole "telling that guy i have a kid to avoid him" thing is getting out of hand..
How so?
Probably at the point when i told him i was "Too drunk to drive" and "had to pick up my kid" all in a span of like 2 hours.
just leaving uw hospital. they thought i had franzia-induced appendicitis. whaaaaat
i proceeded to stick my hands in his pants while he continued to repeat i have a girlfriend
there was a kid getting taken out of the waterpark handcuffed to a wheelchair singing "tryna catch me ridin dirty"
In the middle of having sex, she said "if we continue, we're dating." I then pulled out and sat in the corner, naked. I deserve a Medal of Honor.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
...I can smell the alcohol on your breath through that text
So apparently someone caught him as he was falling. And carried him around the rest of the night.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
Hey how're your balls?
Don't ever let me helicopter again.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
At least they took the pillow of my bed before they had sex. My friends are so polite.
Randomize
