It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
dude this 15 year old girl saw our youtube vid and just facebook messaged me saying i was verry verry pretty. i have no schemas for how to respond to this situation.
woah 15?
i know! what is this dateline?
it was funny though when you first woke up you pointed at my shoe and said i need my jacket and then put my shoe on your hand
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
I think I just accidentally agreed to become a surrogate for a gay couple
I just want to have weird supply closet sex with him... and then I'll be all set. Fired, but all set.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
Hey did you take a shower last night at like 4am?
"ummm...." (Thinking in my head) wet towel, soaking wet hair, clean pjs on backwards... "that would make more sense then what I thought happened..."
I tried to cut you?! I'm sorry! PS where's my hair?
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
He said we had an hour long conversation about how awesome I was.
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
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