Strawberries are so good its weird that food is growable
i can't put facebook on my resume under hobbies.
I wish i was in the wii world.
my vagina's been through so much this weekend
you mean so much has been through your vagina this weekend?
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
Yeah I'm about to go down a waterslide that comes out a 2nd story window. I love college.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I don't think the car's salesman understands that I am about to vomit on him.
They sent me to the hospital. Apparently, of the many things I said, I looked at the doctor and told him, "Wow... it's like you're a REAL DOCTOR!"
I ate her out for so long I might actually shit a vagina
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I was telling my friend about your penis and the only word I could think of was voluptuous. You have a voluptuous dick.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
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