I wanna blow your doors off so bad right now.
Doors?
Rock your world. Blow you out. Skeet skeet.
Dear __, it'd be a lot easier to fuck if you ever responded. So I'm throwing in the white towel, since I no longer know what you want. Sincerely, ___
tell your sister to shave her snatch
Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
she called my cock the "semen sword" and then we invented a position called excalibur
nutella sex= disaster
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
Just found a hole in my wall with your left shoe in it.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
Irrelevant. Does he have queso? That's the real question.
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
I'm warming McDonald's pies on my heater cause I'm too high for the microwave.
sorry for pouring tequila vodka and whiskey down your throat and left you to sleep on a table
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