I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
She gets me. First thing she said this morning "I'll buy breakfast if you can tell me my name."
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
His morals are debatable, but his heart or perhaps his penis is in the right place.
His penis is crooked. Right place? Maybe he starts there, but then he slants.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
Like, you've got the smoothest dick in the west. Do you moisturize?
Yes I do
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
You had sex with a guy who has a purple beard last night. No Molly for a while, ok?
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
Randomize
