the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
Now there are nude photos of that bangin hot Russian spy chick...this is officially the best scandal ever.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Mark my words im gonna be the drunkest groomsman outta spite for him having his wedding on a gameday
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
the girl in my class has a rolling backpack and just told it to stay. im too hungover for this.
I love you, but you should know I'll always ditch you for weed.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Come on Nikki god gave you a vagina for a reason, so you could tell guys what kind of shots to buy you
Our room will be decorated with my urine.
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
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