My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Pls tell me she didnt actually sign a nutsack.
The girl here has a popped collar. Can I slap her?
Yes. For all mankind please do.
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
i had to take off my light up shamrock necklaces, my professor was getting suspicious.
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
She's in the hospital because she tried to steal a toilet seat from an outhouse and fell off the bank. We're gonna hang the toilet seat by the pool.
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
What if there is no right person? Maybe it's just the right cat. Or the right 12 cats.
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
We can talk about your dick in my throat after a decision is made, this is my hair we're talking about. .. shit's important.
I never thought I would have to arrest my own parents on a sunday night
I told him that he could either pay the 10 dollars for the box of condoms or I'll make him pay for the diapers.
Randomize
