yes, the chronicles of narnia is exactly what happens when you do crack inside of a wardrobe.
Don't worry we didnt bang. Sometimes I just bring guys home so I don't order pizza.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He started telling people I was Stephen Hawking's son. When that didnt fly he switched to Tony Romo's cousin
Questioning the dried heart shaped nutella on my boobs. Valentines day has begun.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Such a good question, let's ask the alcohol gods for the answer.
I think the universe has a conglomeration of sentences reserved only for me.
Just smoked a joint with the hottest patient. God I love night shifts.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
My hookup from last weekend apparently got arrested today... his roommate just tagged me on facebook asking for bail money.
Randomize
