forget your mom, you can see her anytime. A one night stand only happens ONE night.
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
My number went up to seventeen today. I forgot to add my random hookup on a sailboat.
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
You did not just play the dead husband card again.
I'm just glad you're the only person I can have a "remember when we thought I was pregnant" conversation with.
Just left the frat house in last nights clothes minus my earings, shoes, underware, tequilla cap, and my dignity. If you see me on your way home just hit me
i'm not even sure i have knees anymore. that awesome.
The only thing I like when I am high is sex. And Cheez Its. But mostly sex.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
Well I'm glad your Saturday night went a lot better than mine. I spent mine crying in a McDonald's parking lot.
Santa tracker drinking game, you in or what?
But on a side note, how the fuck do you "accidentally " get peed on
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
After returning from the hospital with lock-jaw from getting tackle at the game. Some naked chick busted out of his room and hit him with a devastating haymaker to the jaw because he wouldn't have sex
Randomize
