i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
omg i finished an entire carton of double double chunk chunk ice cream last night...
what? what exactly is in double double chunk chunk?
self-loathing.
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
The bong broke. we're having a little funeral followed by an inaugeration service for the new one
I found her sitting in the shower having an argument with the dolphins on the shower curtain.
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I kinda forgave him after he laid next to me and rubbed my arm for four hours while I tripped balls.
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
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