my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
I am seriously considering thanking Macallan 18 in my thesis acknowledgments.
I may be new to bar life, but full on grabbing my vag shouldn't happen...anywhere.
Gosh I haven't been pantsless in front of anyone for a while. It's time for me to pick up my game. We need a party. I need some rum.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
Self care is breaking into nasa and launching yourself directly into the fucking void
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
I just typed "I've got a friend" and my phone autocompletes to "that's a dick appointment". What is my life.
I had sex while watching Lord of the Rings last night. I think I just reached a new level of nerd.
Randomize
