The bird has been looking kind of ugly lately...gotta look nice to fly with the hawk ya know?
I didn't talk to you tonight because I've decided you look like a man.
i barfeds in our rink
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Explain to me how "cheap asian titties" is a complement?
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
It's 1pm, she's in the shower, I don't have the guts tell her I wasn't her blind date. Someone got stood up.
I'm trying to be sexual and you're sending me smashmouth lyrics
Randomize
