i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
bring the vodka.
i thought we were going to mcdonalds..?
we are.
Also, I just saw a woman change into her stripper outfit in the bathroom at Target.
He told me I just kept sending him the word sex and dollar signs.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
You almost make it sound as if getting an education to further your career is more important than beer and tacos.
Im walking to an ob gyn practice session right now. Literally have to get face first in a middleaged vagina in 10 min.
Guess I was throwing darts at a patrons head last night, lol! Black out
If someone told me one person in the department was secretly a death eater, I would suspect her, no contest.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
Apparently the girl he banged in the bathroom yelled at him for hitting on me all night. But whatever, he was holding her hand for most of it
I know you won't see this for awhile, but I had to tell somebody, and you're like the only person who won't judge me for having an accidental erotic encounter with General Tso's chicken.
Randomize
