She's never had brie before last night, don't know if I can date a girl that doesn't like soft cheeses.
i came out of the bathroom and he had christmas lights wrapped up his leg, around his boner, and down the other side
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Its become more of a routine.. Whenever I get done eating and have left overs I just take it over to his house and throw it all over the walls and windows. Pay backs a bitch ehhhh
you're not a real person. you're actually just like a box of wine that can talk
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Out of desperation, I used the leftover sauce from my goat masala as a mixer for vodka shots.
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Burritos, beer, and hot tub sex. Merry Christmas to me.
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
I can no longer play with you. I puked on my feet in the shower. I'm too old for this.
he showed me his third nipple on the first date. I might have low to no standards, but my god.
Well I kept shouting "you're groovy" at him and then I had a 15-minute argument with the bouncer about how many 9s there are in 100... it was definitely time to go home.
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
Randomize
