a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
What are you doing?
High. Watching Billy Mays infomercials...
That guy could sell me cancer.
Is it a bad thing that the only time i wear nice clothes to class, is when i get too fucked up the night before and wear the same clothes i went out in?
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Jelly. This is your "are you still alive" text. Any response will do.
Hey I found a cat!
I'm remembering the time we thought it was a brilliant idea to put koolaid powder in shots of goldschlager
MAN I GOT NO SLEEP AND HAD A BREAKFAST OF SKITTLES AND ASPIRIN. I'M LIVING THE LIFE.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
apparently I got pissed off that no one would let me spray them with a bottle of champagne at midnight of the new year. so I sprayed myself with one shirtless in the near freezing cold outside
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Randomize
