I must say, I don't like the act of throwing up, but the feeling after is quite delightful
so explain to me why i woke up in jail this morning
because you opened a jar or pickles and a bag of fritos and layed down in the middle of aisle 7 while singing 'la cucaracha'
no more ever clear
tagging him in all 73 close-ups of your cleavage might have been a little obvious.
the size of his penis is telling me NOOO! but his bank account is telling me YESSS!
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
He left his boxers here. Can I keep them and make a shrine or would that be creepy?
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
I got really worried when i woke up and there weren't any missed booty calls from him between 3 and 5 am. Apparently his gf is in town ...
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