Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
Glad I put on jeans. You could measure my ass sweat with a rain guage.
she uses ice cubes and hums anything I want. Last night was Welcome to the jungle. it wasnt lost on me shes a puma. no shame in that 30+ game.
He woke me up by trying to shove oreos in my mouth. im ready to go home now
Just rented the SCUBA equipment. Meet me at the pool to test the underwater beer bong idea.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
finally remembered how I know that chick in my history class. she made and fed me ramen when I was wasted!
You are like a vicious sex animal persistently seeking prey
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
Our DD has become famous. Strippers are asking to be handcuffed to him.
it will be just like last year but no clogged toilets and more costumes.
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
My liver can't handle being unemployed!
Randomize