Oh man dude like 1000 to 1500 milligrams. Its gonna burn like bad though.
drinking colt 45 because lando calrissian told me to
the non-midget kid sent 8,000 texts in a month. the midget parents are pissed. THIS IS EPIC WHEN YOUR HIGH.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
I'm drunkenly throwing popcorn at a spider, fuck him. Why does his scary 8 legs get to be happy?
He made me promise not to describe his penis in detail to you....oops.
Randomize
