dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
Girls don't like it when you cum inside them and then discuss baby names.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
My friend and I just coined a new term. OBJ. The obligatory blow job. You totally know what I'm talking about.
Like if he goes down on you first, or you just don't want to bone him yet. OBJ.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
Apparently, my drunken 3AM idea of safety is to send a GPS map of my location to someone 700 miles away. Seriously considering death as a viable alternative to this hangover. Death or Yuengling.
I got so drunk last night that I drunk texted myself. "hand jobs are the currency of the future"
Hey guys guess what I found in my bed this morning? I wish it was a man..but it was a potato
Nothing like the soothing screaming of your neighbor getting boned while eating a pizza on the front porch.
I hate to stick you with the friend but I did all the work.
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
Dude, I need a fuckin wingman and this could finally make us eskimo brothers, how can you pass that up?
Randomize
