Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
she's sitting in the bathroom of SA telling people to come in for a toilet ride
My liver is crying. And I feel like I got fingered by Edward Scissorhands. While he was wearing brass knuckles
got fuckng wasted at spring training, got a lap dance at le girls, got a burrito at filibertos, and still made it to my 5 o'clock eco class wearing a bikini top....I love Arizona State University
The engagement ring savings account is now the strippers and gin savings account. What are you doing tonight?
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
Currently at a fetish club with a set of swings (don't ask). Having flashbacks to the park by my house
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Hi. Tara tells me your sandwiches and stamina are substantial
Be there in a sec. We have to stop at Target to buy her underwear first.
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
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