just went trash diving in my work clothes for weed. A&E's intervention here i come.
I just got a facebook invite to join a group called "bring back the old franzia spout." i never want our generation to grow up.
It's true- you can buy beer at McDonald's in France. I'm not coming back to the States.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
He texted me for drugs this time. Not sex. I dunno if I should be pleased it's not sex or disappointed that I come across as a druggie
I managed to fit my wallet, my keys, my phone, Tammy's necklace, and $38.50 all in my bra. and $1.50 is in quarters. go me.
I just brushed my teeth. In the car. With watered down Sprite. From Saturday. Multi-tasking at its finest.
THIS IS WHY I WENT TO SCHOOL FOR TO BE A COSMETOLOGIST TO HELP MY EX BOYFRIENDS CURRENT GIRLFRIEND BE MILDLY ATTRACTIVE... Everything DOES happen for a reason
He said we were over, wrote my name on the condom he left in my car last night and said he'd always keep it in case I came back. It was kind of romantic
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
I couldn't find any flowers so I brought her a cat.
If you don't believe in my fighting skills, I don't know if we can be together
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Sorry I bailed on you yesterday. I was propositioned.
And you don't turn down margaritas and oral.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
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