Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I just looked at all of our spring break pictures... there's a guy getting a blow job in the background of the ones on the beach.
I just found puke in my bra..
somehow a sneeze triggered me puking over everyone in the car
told our landlord the hole in the wall was from your head during drunk sex..
how did he take it?
not as well as i would have thought
Siri just called me GayBoy in front of my family. I will destroy you.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
Awkward sister question: which game of thrones female left would you fuck?
Don't be surprised if I hand out mini dildos on Halloween
Idk maybe I'll talk to him once he gets out of jail just to yell at him and get my strawberry ice cream back.
Because I chose to live vicariously through your uterus and you're letting me down right now.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
i just remember singing the theme song from 2 and 1/2 men to my hair
Randomize
