we're at the bar and some girl dropped a bottle of burnettes strawberry vodka out of her purse and it broke.
i mean, if that's not class, then i don't know what is
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
facebook friend requested him the morning after while he was still asleep in my bed, a whole new level of creeper even for me
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
come back what if one of your parents walks in and im just sitting here eating a cheesesteak without you
by the end of the night two people were passed out at the table, three on the couches, and one in the bathroom. it looked like someone pumped sleeping gas into the middle of a dinner party.
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
Nothing says "I support my fellow man" like taking your friends recently divorced dad to a strip club and bar hopping with us to get him laid by an upgrade.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
He uses Bing as his search engine...but he's great in bed. So obviously I'm torn.
My New Years resolution is actually to be MORE petty
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize
