So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
so whats your words to drink to for the state of the union? mine are 'change' 'fight' and 'you know'.
mine is 'the'.
It'll be like the burning bush except without moses and with pubes.
#1- I went to button my shirt only to find they were all mising. #2- I'm so fu@king sore I feel like I was sweating to the oldies all night. #3- this pounding headache I have, I blame solely on Jennifer. Everyone sounds like Billy Mays when they talk. I remember nothing from last night, I'm concerned.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
My drug dealer just asked me to go see Les Mis on Christmas. Should I be worried this is some type of musical set-up?
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
I brought a travel sized bottle of baby powder and sprinkled it on all of the couples making out on the wall in the basement
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
You know you had a good night when your wearing you best friends pants to work the next day
You wrapped yourself in tin-foil and told us you were Iron Man. I have pictures.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
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