Why did you take off so early
No more beer. And also. Threesome. Maybe. Ill let you know.
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
I thought Christmas was going to come before I did
i just set an alarm for noon. fuck yes winter break.
its taking every last moral i have not to steal this bike
you still have morals?
Well actually itd just be too hard to ride the bike with this large rake i just stole
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
Did you push me into the oil wrestling or did I elect to do it?
You said you wanted to do it, but I gave you a friendly nudge.
On my way home I stopped at target and bought beer and galoshes. I am a planner.
i just peed with my friends in your backyard... do you still live here
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
Excuse me. I’m a mature responsible adult.
You got your arm stuck in a vending machine trying to get fruit snacks.
I had a cast on my hand and if I paid for my fruit snacks, I’m getting my fruit snacks.
Randomize
