New drinking game watching teenage mutant ninja turtles movie and drinking every time raphael says damn, someone says april or ms oneil, and shredder appears And every time we see a mustache
You put your red cup in a chain link fence and kept telling me you could use it as a telescope
There's a girl n class drinking wine out of a taco bell cup. I can smell it.. it's totally reisling. JEALOUS.
i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
theres so much semen in my vacuum cleaner...
Drunkasaurus has found a new cave to eat all the children she captured
I need to get you away from Bacardi 151 and out from under the bed
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
All I want is to send a text that says "i slept with someone while wearing nothing but purple argyle socks this weekend." But the only person i would send that to is you. But you already know. Because they were your socks.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
My day went from bad to worse when I realized I puked out my second floor window last night.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
DO IT!
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