Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
He told her hed rather go bobbing for apples in puke than have sex with her.
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
My arms are hairy. And so Is my left leg. Just my left leg, the right is smooth.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
WHY WOULD YOU SWIPE RIGHT???!!!!!
The same reason I ordered and ate almost an entire pizza last night
I'm honestly just now recovering from saint Patrick's day.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
The minute he showed me his Mumford and sons tattoo is the minute i could literally feel my pussy dry up
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Randomize
