I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
As I was climbing out of the pool he slapped my ass and said 'stay golden', i don't know why but it felt right.
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
On the way to have sex with my ex's roommate... I have hit a new low
I'm seriously considering selling my books back early. I don't use them anyways and I could really use the beer money..
Randomize
