I have a pussy blister if you wanna poke at it with a needle tomorrow...by this text i realize just how strange our relationship is, especially because you're probably excited
I think you mean your blister is filled with pus...atleast i hope
you came home covered in oatmeal wearing a tutu holding a stolen wrotting pumpkin and "its a girl" balloons tied around your neck.you were whispering the lyrics to aaron carters 'aarons party'. i think the real question was what DIDNT you drink last night
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
I was in the bathroom puking up mountains of tequila and when he came to help me, I held the door shut and kept yelling at him to let me be a lady.
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
BURNT NIPPLES ARE UNHAPPY NIPPLES.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Not my type, but the penis looks fun.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
You asked for 4 things: your phone, your wallet, your keys and your denture. I stopped asking questions.
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
I'm in his bed with no pants on and he's just eating a sloppy joe
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