My foreign exchange student got here today. I turned on man vs. food and told her that "this is all you need to know about America."
she thought the capital of kansas was topanga.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
The smoke alarm went off as soon as we opened the closet.
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I'm doing lines by myself in the kitchen. I think your outside. yeah that's you. your naked.
Lets just not get arrested. That might put a damper on everything. I only say that cause i've almost been arrested.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Found a fruit roll up in my pocket this morning. This means my daughter has a peach blunt wrap in her lunchbox.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
it's pretty awkward texting you how much I want to suck your cock when I have my mom on speakerphone.
On my way
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