Hotel room at 3 am. She's 42. Stockings and heels. All because I opened with a joke about cougar hunting. We'll high-five later.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Gentlemen...shes not going to tie her self to the table...
I assume you will show your seat mates your vibrating cock ring.
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Anxiously awaiting my period drinking Hershey's syrup from the bottle. Don't judge me
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
He went down on me for an hour and a half. He needs to get promoted more often.
Don't worry dude, I've created a sex logic bomb to stop that sort of thing.
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
I just turned down an invite to sit on a face. IDK who I am.
What? Are you sick?
im tired of guys just wanting to hook up with me. im like, guys, i know im pretty and i have a slammin bod and i love making out, but cant someone treat me with respect??
Randomize
