I just found out she jerks off to lesbian porn too honest to god
you wouldn't believe how perfect a match this is its scary
I went from sexy to sloppy in a matter of minutes
Hello wreck, this is your train calling.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
She just passive-aggressively stripped in the kitchen while humming the theme to Doug.
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
I ate 12 cupcakes in less than 24 hours, so no judgement here.
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
I JUST WANT TO HAVE AWKWARD SEXUAL EXPERIENCES WITH HIM.
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
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