I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
P.S. I can't hear my feet
Update: I just puked into a sock. It was the only thing available at the time. Why I happened to be holding a sock, we may never know.
you closed your eyes and pointed to a cupboard..there was vodka on the top shelf. your sixth sense is amazing. plus, we convinced the foreign kid you're a booze whisperer
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
so i might have figured out why that girl isn't talking to me...I'm 90% confident I didn't give her a pillow when she stayed over >.>
Just saw the guy I slept with last night in a bar. He gave me a high five and kept moving
Yeah I mean once a gun is being waved around, its probably a good time to leave the party
But the music was sooo good
i don't know what body building stuff he's on, but his cum is basically a 5 hour energy shot.
Nahh no judgin. Compliments to the balls are always heartfelt
I literally just skipped to the fridge when I realized we had enough vodka left to get day drunk
I had sex while you were puking this morning and I'm sorry. Kind of.
It's ok. I had sex while you were drunk crying last night. We're even.
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
