I just saw a guy wearing a tuxedo shirt under his overalls. That is true iowa class right there
I wonder who the first pervert was, and if he would be proud of me for advancing his art form by so much
She was singing my heart will go on into her barf bag. celine aint got shit on her.
he told me he was a chubby chaser.. then winked. i'm signing up for a gym pass as we speak
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
Next time you think about divorce, consider this: a hot guy just walked in and I tried to suck in my back fat.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
Holy shit, just saw a girl in the library smoking a bong disguised as a calculator
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
You were painting for six hours and managed one four foot wall. "The Mellow Handyman" isn't a good business model.
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