i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
If theres one good thing that came out of our relationship its this chicken recipe. And squirting.
she gave me her number. found out it was already stored in my phone as "bathroom blowjob"
You dont lie about slip and slides
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
How long can I keep it classy to hook up in my old office building? Two more years? Does it get weird after 30?
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
LOOK AT MY ASS AND LEGS IN THIS SKIRT. I KNOW ALL THE BEST HIDING SPOTS IN THIS BUILDING. AND I OFFER TEQUILA.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Remember how we use to say "this will be the year I'll get my shit together!" And like we stopped doing that because we know that isn't happening anytime soon.
I was not drunk enough for that final.
Randomize
