he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I woke up to somebody tossing my salad... I should have drank more
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
You know what is really helpful - when the two guys you want to fuck stand next to each other. Stay tuned for who wins
Just got the test results back. All clean, Now whose an idiot for going bareback in South America for 3 months straight.
she ate the whole pudding cup using only her tongue. i'm considering going lesbian for her
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
I have a gash on my leg an a lobster leg in my purse.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I told him to just roll me a blunt and put it in a heart shaped box.
Can I just skip the lesson I have planned for tomorrow and just teach my students about Prohibition using my impending hangover?
This is why american education is failing
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
well i don't NEED my liver but it's nice to have one when you're trying to have a good time
Today is my 3 year wedding anniversary...and I've seen three different dicks.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
Randomize